observatory | Mia Arderne

Now the hipster may be the opposite of a poppie, but they, too, take their time in putting together an outfit. Their most important locations include Observatory, the CBD and Woodstock. Should this appeal to you, it is non-negotiable that you appear creative and aloof at all times. But don’t let this scare you: you do not actually have to be talented. Nontheless, there’s more to this clique than simply buying an iPhone and installing Instagram.

Hipster checklist:

Ball-breaking skinny jeans are an essential
So is a packet of roll-your-own tobacco
Complement this with a supply of rizzlers and filters
Acquaint yourself with marginal music. The Black Keys don’t quite cut it anymore.
Frequent the old biscuit mill
Splurge at vintage sales
Develop a jaded anti-establishment ideology
But make sure you have no practical solutions
Read Nietszche
Have an entourage of privileged deviants
Claim to have a B.A. degree under your belt – you don’t really need to pass
Own a Ramones T-shirt
Look androgenous if you’re a male
Construct well-justified prejudices against commercial nightclubs
Deny that you know what 169 Long Street is

And you’re in. Most importantly, never look like you’re trying. But when no-one’s looking, make sure that your hair is just scruffy enough to be appealing. Don a wool cap and a leather jacket and off to Obs you go.