Now the hipster may be the opposite of a poppie, but they, too, take their time in putting together an outfit. Their most important locations include Observatory, the CBD and Woodstock. Should this appeal to you, it is non-negotiable that you appear creative and aloof at all times. But don’t let this scare you: you do not actually have to be talented. Nontheless, there’s more to this clique than simply buying an iPhone and installing Instagram. 

Hipster checklist:

• Ball-breaking skinny jeans are an essential
• So is a packet of roll-your-own tobacco
• Complement this with a supply of rizzlers and filters
• Acquaint yourself with marginal music. The Black Keys don’t quite cut it anymore.
• Frequent the old biscuit mill 
• Splurge at vintage sales
• Develop a jaded anti-establishment ideology
• But make sure you have no practical solutions
• Read Nietszche
• Have an entourage of privileged deviants
• Claim to have a B.A. degree under your belt – you don’t really need to pass
• Own a Ramones T-shirt
• Look androgenous if you’re a male
• Construct well-justified prejudices against commercial nightclubs
• Deny that you know what 169 Long Street is

And you’re in. Most importantly, never look like you’re trying. But when no-one’s looking, make sure that your hair is just scruffy enough to be appealing. Don a wool cap and a leather jacket and off to Obs you go.

The eccentric beauty with a cigarette between her fingertips